It's all thanks to you
by Threya Midnight
Summary: After Hyuuga Neji's 'honoring ceremony', which was just a fancier term they used when a ninja's name is carved on the Memorial Stone, Hyuuga Hinata decided to stay a little longer and 'talk' with her cousin a little bit more. One-shot.


**Um, hello. This is my first Naruto-fic. I've actually written this a few days after Neji's death happened in the manga. I don't know but until now, I'm still not over the fact that Neji died. So yes, I dedicate this to Neji-niisan and still hopeful NejiHina fans out there!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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It's All Thanks to You

(NejiHina/Hyuugacest fic)

A week has passed since the war ended. A week has passed since Konohagakure finally found peace. A week has passed since _you_ died, Neji-niisan.

It was raining very hard yet I was still standing in front of the Memorial Stone, carrying a bouquet of flowers in my hands. The crowd slowly diminished, only your teammates and I remained. Tenten was crying on Lee-san's arms, even though Lee-san was trying to act fine I could see the despair in his eyes. But he must do it, for who else but he could show Tenten that they should remain strong.

It was stated in the '100 principles of a shinobi', a shinobi must not show his or her feelings at any circumstance. And this was hard to accomplish after you died. I shed so much tears, I felt so depress now that you are not here to guide me. But I could not stay in that state for too long, immediately after that day we were forced to take on another fight. I'm sorry that I could not mourn for too long.

And now, that is what I am doing right now. I tried to remain impassive, letting the drops of rain fall down to my face. Since the 'honouring ceremony' started, those people who knew you were watching me with curiosity. They might be wondering how Hyuuga Hinata, the girl who was easy to break, managed to remain stoic. What they did not know, since the ceremony started, since the rain started to fall, I also let my tears trickle down on my face. And now that the ceremony ended, I could say thatI have possibly shed a litre of tears and I can still cry more.

I was brought back to reality when I felt someone gave me a pat on the shoulder, I turned around to see your teacher, Gai-sensei, giving me his best smile. But I know, like Lee-san, he was forcing it even though it broke his heart.

I did not bother to smile back, not even a forced smile. For I know I am not as strong as them, physically and more importantly, _emotionally_. Because I know, if I try to move a single muscle on my face, to even make _any_ expression, I will end up choking out the sobs I kept to myself and I wouldn't help myself but breakdown in front of them.

"We're heading back, Hinata. You should, too. The rain is starting to get worse, it wouldn't be good for your health if you stayed any longer."

I shook my head, retuning my gaze back to the memorial stone. "Thank you for your concern, Gai-sensei. But I'll be fine. I just… need my time with Neji-niisan."

He was taken aback by my words, he must've thought that I wasn't badly affected by your death. But they were wrong, very wrong. He nodded at me before turning around, placing his hand on Tenten's shoulder before walking out. Lee-san gave me a glance, before following their teacher, the poor girl still in his embrace.

I sighed. _Finally_, I was alone. I moved forward, sitting down and tracing my fingers on the Memorial Stone. There were so many names, Neji-niisan. I do not know who all of them are, I only know a few names written on the stone. But I know, no matter what their statuses were when they were alive, whether they were a young genin, a chunin like myself, or a magnificent jounin like you, I know that their loved ones are grieving of their lost, the way I am to you.

My eyes widen, finally I found your name. I traced my finger at the character of your name, my heart filling up with anguish. With that.

I wailed.

Even until now, even when your body has been cremated and your name was already carved on the stone, I still have a hard time believing that you're gone. A laugh escaped from my lips, another tear trickled down on my face. _This must be a dream_. I told myself. _Just a dream_.

_More like a nightmare, _the voice inside my mind jeered.

Now that I think of it, the war _ending _seemed like a dream. How many months did it take before we achieved this peace? There were times when I wanted to give up, be the scaredy-cat I used to be, and just say, 'I don't want to do this anymore'. But then I would remember your scolding voice, telling me to stand up and keep on moving forward whenever I was getting tired during our training session.

"_Hah…"_ I breathed heavily. "The more that I think of it, the more unbelievable it was…"

Hyuuga Neji, the prodigy of the Hyuuga clan, _dead_? If I wasn't there when you were killed and someone told me the news, I would have insisted that they were mistaken. You barely get any bruises or wounds when you return from missions, so to hear that you're…

I looked away, biting my lips. But sadly, it wasn't just _any _normal mission. We were at war; lives were bound to be taken. I was _there_ when that piece of wood pierced through your body; I could still recall the sound of your fleshing ripping apart and the sound of blood dripping on the ground. It happened right in front of my eyes, every time I close my eyes I remember that moment when you saved me.

"Because you told me that I'm a genius…" It was your answer when Naruto-kun asked you why you did it. Even if you're a genius, Neji-niisan, you can be quiet stupid sometimes. I knew if I told you that while you were still alive, you would have gotten angry. You were acting cool even if you were standing on death's door. Have I told you before, Neji-niisan, how I think you're so cool? I guess not..

I want to tell you a lot of things, Neji-niisan. How I'm happy that we became good friends. Or how I'm grateful that you helped me train and improve my taijutsu. Or even how serious you are to the point it made me chuckle. But now it's all too late. All I could do now is talk to this stone, lamenting that I couldn't say things to you or do things _with _you.

It's painful, Neji-niisan. The pain in my chest. If we met in a different time, in a different situation, in a different place, I wonder… if things would have been even better for us. If only there was no such thing as 'branch' or 'head' family, if only my attention wasn't just on Naruto-kun, I wonder… if I have would realized sooner that I actually _love_ you. Not 'love' in a way that relatives should, but 'love' as in '_want to be with you'_ love.

Again, I realized this when it was already too late. While you were saying your last words, while you were talking to Naruto-kun, my mind was racing and I was in a complete mess. As you were closing your eyes, my tears fell harder. During that time, I was thinking what I should tell you before you go. But Kami-sama wasn't merciful and when I finally fixed out my thoughts, you already passed away. I could only clench my fist, shoulders slumped down.

'_Don't go_…' I whispered silently. '_I love you_…'

I slowly looked up, blinking as I saw the grey sky was slowly clearing up. I smiled sadly as I saw a brave bird flew across the yet to be blue sky. Ne, Neji-niisan. Could it be you heard me and you sent that bird as your answer? As I remember, you were quiet fond of birds. I once caught you petting one of Hyuuga clan's messenger birds and when you saw me, you blushed and exclaimed, 'It's not like what you think!'. A smile crept on my lips that memory never fail to lighten my mood.

"Hinata-sama, you better go back to the Hyuuga compound. You shouldn't stay there any longer."

My eyes widen, I immediately stood up and turned around. But there was no one behind me. I sighed, running my hand through my damp hair. Even after death, your worried-voice still rings in my head. But you're right; I shouldn't stay here any longer. I know, you wouldn't want me to be like this. If I keep on going like this, it would be as if I died even when you blocked the attack. I don't want you sacrifice to be in vain.

I gave the Memorial Stone another glance before I started walking back home. It's painful, but I'm going to keep on living. Even if you're not here physically, I know you're watching me and guiding me wherever I go. But someday, I will learn to stand up on my own two feet. Someday, I'm going to make you proud. One day, we're going to meet again and you're going to say 'You've grown a lot, Hinata-sama'. And I will reply, 'It's all thanks to you, Neji-niisan'.

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**I made this fanfic to convince myself to move on with Neji's death. Yes, people's death are inevitable I know. It's painful but that doesn't mean _you _should also die with them. When I was 10, my close cousin died when she a few days before her 13th birthday. She was _too _young, she could have done a lot more things. But it can't be helped, right? So I decided, I'll try my best to live for her sake. To those people who are experiencing something like this, stay strong.**


End file.
